Episode 1
This episode was a little bit of a meet and greet because there are no returning characters from Season 1. Reference was made to loveable GAMPS from Season 1, however, as he won a bet that meant Rivertown must be considered for the next Olympics. And could they ever use it, the economy has hit the skids with unemployment raging at 90 percent. As a result, the day to day life now runs on what is known as the “Tense Bartering System”. The following snapshots frame our main characters:
VICTOR CROSS – Runs the Hot Cross Buns Bakery. He’s an excon who used to be cool with chrystal meth and now holding it together (sometimes with the help of his hand exerciser – I’d describe it better but I don’t know what those things are called – come to the show and find out for yourself).
MRS. CRATCHER – At the ripe old age of 65, Mrs. Cratcher helps Victor out with the hard labor for a couple of slices of bread. She and her cats are happy with this arrangement.
JIMMY O JEERY – He is 6 or 12 or 16, but darn cheery for a boy with advanced stages of tuberculosis. He’s a newsy, a bootlagger (aka shine boy), and occasional petty theif.
AUDRA – Mother of Epitome and part of the local Mother’s Group where the kids are schooled to avoid touching all playground equipment. The world revolves around Epitome and there’s no time like the present to wipe on the sanitizing lotion.
LEXI SUGAR – A former NY “club kid”, this hip mama who owns a local dress shop, is always trying to keep up with Audra.
TOPH GUNDERSON – The Mr. Mom of the Mom’s group and always offering to do the bartering for the group. His boy Simon is his best friend.
STOMP GUNN – A local cabaret celebrity, Stomp has just come off a successful one woman show. She is proud to be woman and proud to share….a lot.
BLACK BARTER – They say he’s the meanest barterer in town but no match for Victor Cross.
LiLURA – She’s a witch!
GOVERNOR BARTLES – The state’s governor who smells money and power with a potential Olympics. He decides he can stoop down and visit Rivertown.
JAMES – A mild mannered assistant to the Governor, always willing to serve.
HARLOW BILK (aka BILKIE) – An incarcerated man that strikes fear in all who come near him. His eyebrows in a near permanent scowl, he finds himself up for parole….once again. Will he get out this time?
EPISODE 2:
Things are rolling now. Harlow surprisingly gets parole but only as a result of a last minute mysterious call. CHEVELIER CHEVELIER, a scout for the Olympic Committee, arrives and shows his…suave European ways on Audra and Lexi. Victor tries to find out more about Black Barter from Jimmy and gets a little rough with him by accident. Stomp facebooks to the delights of her many fans as she contemplates how to sing for the opening ceremonies for the Olympics even while Rivertown is still only being considered for the games. Mrs. Cratcher gets a surprise visit from Black Barter who says he knows who Mrs. Cratcher really is and why she might like “ a man in Brussels, who is 6 foot 4 and full of muscles”. Governor Bartles explains his plans for Project Lone Star where the state secedes from the nation and he becomes King. At the end we see a distraught Audra who finally shouts out “My baby, my baby, someone bartered away my baby!”
Episode 3:
Well now, it was Lexie who bartered Audra's baby. She was jealous that Chevalier Chevalier has taken an interest in Audra and not her.
She bartered the baby to Governor Bartles ( for a VHS copy of Overboard) who used the kid to look good in the press. He couldn't handle it so he gave her back and told Lexie she had to make sure Chevalier selects Rivertown for the Olympics or else he would tell Audra what she had done. Stomp Gunn performed a great song for Rivertown, she hopes to sing at the opening ceremonies if Rivertown is selected.
Victor Cross reveals to Mrs. Cratcher that he did something while in prison that kept Harlow Bilks in longer.
But now Bilkie is out and on the streets of Rivertown. He takes a shine to little Jimmy O' Jeery and learns from him that Victor Cross is still in town. Lilura has magically become an actual witch. She's kind of hideous now. She believes the Olympic Games will destroy Rivertown by bringing in money (root of all evil). She tries to charmingly give herself to Chevalier so that he will not select Rivertown for the Olympics. But Chevelier was so turned off his "gland nearly completely turtled".
At the end of a show Lexie makes a mysterious phone call to get help, because the Governor is blackmailing her. She called Harlow.